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Helping someone with Depression

 

Here’s an imaginary scenario for pastoral care and some thoughts on addressing it:

 

Jimmy is a 17 year old boy in your youth group.  You know his parents from church – the father’s treasurer, you’ve never got to know the mother very well.  He has an older brother (6 years his senior) who’s doing well as a lawyer.  You’ve always known him as a well-behaved but very internal person.  He gives good answers in Bible studies and always warms to challenges about ‘taking up your cross’ and ‘surrendering all to Jesus.’  He confesses to you he is extremely depressed, is often disgusted with himself and cuts himself to relieve the feelings.  He hints at suicide.  He says he has no idea where God is in all this.  He doesn’t know whether he’s elect – but he asks God to save him almost every day. Nothing ever happens. He is distraught.

 

 

Introductory Thoughts

 

1) Broken-ness is both a virtue and an opportunity

Deut 8:2-5; Ps 51:17; Matt 5:3ff; Luke 20:18

           

It is a tremendous opportunity to work with a person who has fallen on their face in utter helplessness!  This is exactly where God loves to work with His people.  God opposes the proud but gives grace to those humbled under His mighty hand (Prov 3:34; James 4:5; 1 Pet 5:5). 

 

 

“Thorns”

 

All but cursed, the men of dust,

From garden’d bliss dejected thrust.

Cast down to blood and tangling thorn,

Flat-faced in mud, bereft, forlorn.

 

Unmoved as ages droned along,

Resigned to sighing pity’s song.

To mouth their sadness with each breath,

In love with self and sin and death.

 

Then glancing back, a glimmering sight,

Through gnarling weeds, a shaft of light.

The tree untouched, of matchless type,

Engorged with life, effulgent, ripe.

 

It lay beyond the thorny wall,

A tantalizing siren’s call.

All wrong reversed, all tears made good,

All hunger filled with holy food.

 

New drive possessed the men of dust,

They set to work with primal thrust.

To have the fruit at any cost,

If failing this then all is lost.

 

And so they pressed against the wall

Of thorns and blades and jagged sprawl.

Their eyes aglow with mad intent,

Their bodies pierced and torn and rent.

 

Their flesh sliced through by razor wire,

Could not abate their one desire.

No hurt could halt their desperate zeal.

“Once through, the tree alone will heal!”

 

Their bodies strewn along the route,

Their hands outstretched to reach the fruit.

Yet none would cross this death-divide,

Their hope lay on the thorny side.

 

Behind them in the other way,

Another tree for sinners lay.

It stood apart and unacquired,

Gnarled and grim and undesired.

 

It did not catch the eye of men,

Who sought a ripeness there and then.

Yet this one pledged a golden yield,

To all who ceased and turned and kneeled.

 

For hanging lone across its form,

The Lord of Life enthroned in scorn,

Was off’ring all a bloodied balm,

With up-raised voice and out-stretched arm.

 

Thus from the midst of cursèd death,

Is raised His call with rasping breath.

“Come every man, leave off your quest

Find life within my piercèd breast.”

 

“He lies!” they shrieked through raging tears,

They scoffed and mocked with angry jeers.

“What life could this cadaver give?

What guarantee that we shall live?”

 

“Just this” He said with pity’s call,

“I’ve come direct from o’er the wall.

All bliss that moves your frenzied glee,

Such fountains first begin in Me.”

 

At once they spluttered daft disdain,

“No wounded Man or tree of pain,

Will be our well or way of life.

We’re free! You pledge us only strife!”

 

“Dear friends!” He pleas, “regard your plight,

“Your freedom bonds you, blinds your sight.

Your wounds for self, for self are loss,

Come lose them in my wounded cross.

 

“Your life is death, My death is gain,

Now trust the word of Paschal slain.

Come hide in Me through darkest night,

Soon heaven’s dawns shine fresh delight.”

 

Just so His promise stands above

All men, inquiring which they love:

To seek the fruit and Him defy,

Or heed Life’s call to “Come and die!”

 

 

There is a great similarity between depression and godly brokenness.  In both, the fallen-ness of this world and our hopelessness (outside of Christ) are felt in a profound way.  In both, the person is brought to see that life is not what we make it.  We are forced to acknowledge that our own sin and the accursed frustration of creation oppress us and make us utterly impotent.  The difference is that depression is a condition of hopelessness and helplessness.  Brokenness, on the other hand, is the quiet conviction that, though there is no strength, no hope and no help in you, there is a divine Helper who can be trusted in the midst of it all.

 

There should never be the temptation to see Jimmy as a drain on the real business of ministry.  It will take a lot of time and emotional energy to deal with him.  Yet the opportunity for deep gospel work to occur is actually very exciting.  God works with His people in the desert (cf Deut 8:2-5) – in the midst of that humbling and ‘causing to hunger’, there the Word of God becomes incredibly precious.  The work you can do with Jimmy has the potential to be far more rich and profound than any of your regular ministry responsibilities.  In the hands of God it could also turn out to be far more fruitful in the long-run for the kingdom as Jimmy learns to grasp the grace of Christ even in the depths.

 

 

2) Doctrine of God issues

 

It is important to be clear on the kind of God who stands over and above Jimmy in His depression.  The God who Jimmy desperately needs to hear of is not a needy monad.  Glorifying God is not, for Jimmy, a mustering up of self-willed worship.  If we were to preach that kind of ‘glorifying God’ as Jimmy’s chief aim and (therefore) solution to depression, we would almost certainly drive him to deeper despondency.  We must not throw Jimmy back on himself[1] but we must preach to him a God whose glory is His gracious approach towards the broken-hearted.

 

 

Who is God?

 

UNCREATED CREATOR

 

FATHER, SON AND HOLY SPIRIT

 

What is the divine nature?

ASEITY: GOD IS SELF-SUFFICIENT – FROM HIMSELF

COMMUNION – GOD IS SELF-GIVING – LOVE

What is grace?

 

ALL IS FROM HIM – HE SOVEREIGNLY ORDERS EVERY ATOM AND ACT

THE OFFER OF THIS LIFE OPENED UP IN CHRIST: THE GIFT OF THE SON IN THE SPIRIT, THAT WE MAY BE SONS OF THE SAME FATHER

What is God’s glory?

HIS SELF-CENTREDNESS

HIS OTHER-CENTREDNESS

To glorify God is…

 

TO GIVE TO HIM

TO RECEIVE FROM HIM

 

This means

WORSHIP

FAITH

 

 

A rediscovery of affective theology is a welcome development in reformed circles.  It is now common to hear Christian counsellors speak of the importance of the heart and the need to repent of idols to the end of a single-minded devotion to the Lord.  There is great truth in this (as I hope has been shown in the section on depression).  Yet to say that the heart is important is not, automatically, to avoid works.  To make ‘heart-felt worship’ Jimmy’s chief aim is not gospel.  It is to take legalism to newfound depths of difficulty. If Jimmy found it tough jumping through behavioural hoops to glorify God, how much more difficult will it be to jump through inner, pietistic ones?! 

 

But Christ is the One who worships perfectly for me.  That is the triune gospel of grace.  Within Himself God is sufficient for all the worship that is required of Jimmy. The Son’s priestly work is Jimmy’s great hope, not his own.  Christ’s worship is that which I must confess and entirely rely on.  I never seek to repeat His worship of the Father, I am wrapped up in it as a grateful participant.  This is what we must communicate to Jimmy: he is included in the worshipping God by faith in Jesus not by repetition of His worship.  This is the one work (John 6:29) which God requires, to believe in the One He has sent. 

 

Jimmy’s telos might be participation in the divine nature. His ultimate good may well be worship.  But it is a worship carried out by Jesus to which he simply adds a grateful Amen. 

 

Thus we must never throw Jimmy back on himself.  His first duty is not to get his spiritual disciplines back on track.  The gospel for Jimmy is that, right now, in the midst of his pathetic, weak, miserable, perhaps deeply sinful life, he is unshakeably, unimpeachably, unimprovably righteous.  He is beautified, dignified, perfect and complete in the LORD Jesus his Messiah.  When a person is in the depths, they need to hear that their righteousness lies entirely outside and above themselves (a favourite theme of Luther’s). For a person in the pit, we must proclaim a hope that is above.  This is the only good news worth hearing for a depressed person!

 

 

3) Clinging to the sovereignty of God versus clinging to the Son of God.

 

“I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death…” (Phil 3:10).  We must point Jimmy to his true Friend and Sympathiser – not simply to an abstract sovereignty.  It might be objected that Jimmy is in no state to engage in a friendship right now, he just needs to know that things are being worked out for good.  We reply that this friendship is not made real by Jimmy’s feelings.  Instead we proclaim it to him in the gospel and pray that this gracious word will conquer his heart.

 

Depression

Theories:

  • Learned helplessness
  • Frozen rage
  • Frustration of idolatrous goals

A commitment to something you know will fail

=> a paralyzing feeling of hopelessness regarding yourself, your world, you future

 

The first two theories recognize something of the truth of depression.  Firstly, I am helpless in a world divinely subjected to frustration. Secondly, depression is a kind of movement beyond anger.  Yet both these theories suggest solutions aimed at re-gaining control and re-asserting our rights.  We move far from God’s intention of being humbled when we turn to these theories.

 

I’m therefore much more persuaded by Larry Crabb’s theory.[2]  (see a Crabb summary) He points to a root cause in our desires that become idolatrous goals to which we commit ourselves.  When these goals are blocked we become angry.  When they are consistently frustrated then we experience depression: the contradiction of being committed to something that we have simultaneously given up on.  The solution is suggested by the diagnosis: give up on the goal.  This of course means repentance, but it is a very deep repentance – a turning of our mind and heart (which is deceitful above all things!)

 

Therefore it will probably be a difficult and drawn-out process to ‘dig down’ within Jimmy’s personality structure (see Appendix III) and examine the desires, longings and ‘thirsts’ which drive him.

 

 

Fallen Personality Structure

(From p 148 of Finding God, Larry Crabb, Alpha, 2000)

 

 

HERE’S HOW                       “If I do this,                              Self centered relating

I’ll feel safer”              

 

I WILL SURVIVE                   “I’ll find some way                  Arrogant determination

to get what I want”

 

I HATE ME                             “Something’s wrong

                                                with me, that’s why                Poor self-image

people fail me.”

 

I HATE YOU                           “You failed me”                      Interpersonal conflict

 

 

I NEED YOU                          “You better come                   Demanding dependence

                                                through for me.”

 

I DOUBT GOD                       “He doesn’t look good          Terror and rage.

                                                to me.”

 

 

 

The Godly Structure

            (from p149 ibid)

 

 

HERE’S HOW                       “Doing this reflects my          Wise and Other-centred

confidence in God’s             style of relating

goodness.”

 

I WILL OBEY                          “I can’t do it perfectly             Humble co-operation and joy

but I’ll do what’s right”

 

I JUDGE ME                          “When I fail to love you,         Repentance and rest

                                                I’m wrong.”

 

I ACCEPT YOU                     “I don’t need you to be          Intimacy

                                                different.”

 

I LOVE YOU                           “I want to give something      Freedom from dependence

to you.”

 

I BELIEVE GOD                    “All things work together       Quietness

                                                for good because God is     Trust

good.”                                     Worship

 


 

In Jeremiah 2:13 terms this means identifying the ‘broken cisterns’ that we have sought to provide us with living water.  Again it should be clear how depression can also be a great opportunity for gospel work as the poverty of the Lord’s competition is exposed!

 

In Jimmy’s case I would be keen to find out 1) where he thinks living water is to be found and, 2) what have been his experiences of frustration in this. 

 

To draw out 1) I would be listening out for topics of conversation where his interest rises. Who are his heroes?  What does he picture as the epitome of cool, of success, of Chistian maturity?  What does he day-dream about in his better moments? Where does his mind go when he hasn’t got much to do? 

 

To draw out 2) I would discuss the immediate causes of his ‘low’ times.  Is it possible to identify certain frustrations as triggers? What are the great ‘if onlys’ for Jimmy?  What makes him angry? Could he write out 5 major frustrations in his life so far?  What does he beat himself up about the most?  This leads us to…

 

 

Self Harm

 

This diagram of the human personality is from Dan Allender’s The Wounded Heart.

 

      
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Dignity and Depravity:  “I don’t want you to see how bad or how good I am.”

Shame: “I’m exposed”

Contempt (for self or others).  “This is my immediate cover-up, having been shamed.”

Performance: “Here’s my long-term strategy for minimizing shame/exposure in the future.”

 

 

In this paradigm, self-harm can be thought of as the self-directed contempt I choose as a response to the experience of shame.  We hate to be shamed and desire immediate covering (Gen 3:7,10!)  Yet the extreme feelings we all have associated with shame cannot be quieted or distracted from without equally strong counter-acting emotions.  Without the covering of Christ’s righteousness, hate works best.  Self-hate is often more attractive than hatred of others since my control-seeking flesh would love to locate the problem in me so that the solution is also in me. My horror at being exposed is thus quickly (instantly in our experience) turned to hatred and this hatred is turned on myself.

 

For a worked-out example of all this, note the language you use about yourself next time you lose your keys!  You exposure to shame has caused you tremendous discomfort.  You cover your discomfort not in a broken confession of your weakness and your helplessness in a world divinely subjected to frustration.  Your goals have been blocked and you’re furious.  You feel exposed and you direct venomous accusations against yourself and somehow they make you feel more in control of the world. (“If only I wasn’t so stupid, life would work.”)

 

The expression of this hatred in self-harm gives a great sense of relief in the short-run.  I have effectively incarnated the problem – turning the experience of shame for which I have no answer into a tangible target for my contempt.  I have redefined my problem of shame (‘I’m a deeply depraved, wicked human being’), into a localised, domesticated one (‘I’m so stupid/I’m so ugly’).  And I’ve answered this domesticated problem by punishing myself.  In all this I haven’t needed Christ or His cross!  I have defined the problem so that Jesus’ death is not the answer.  Instead of Jesus’ incarnation and suffering being the solution, I have incarnated my problems and suffered for them.  My self-harm is an assault on the gospel itself – it is the declaration that Jesus is insufficient or unnecessary.  In all this I have seriously underestimated the true problem of shame and also underestimated the glorious covering of His righteousness!

 

Questions I’d ask Jimmy:

  • Do you mind if I take a look? (be mindful of child protection issues)
    • Assess severity, take it out of private domain, show that someone can handle it
  • What do you get out of self-harm?
  • When do you do it? (environment, causes)
  • What would it be like not to do it? What are the feelings that you’d be left with?
  • What are you saying to yourself as you do this? (literally or figuratively)
  • On what basis?
  • What does Jesus Christ think about you? In general?  When you self-harm?  Do you think He’d want to cut you too?
  • Can you write down on one side of a piece of paper all the things you say about yourself when you self-harm and, on the other, all the things that Jesus might say back?
  • Could you use these on yourself next time you are tempted to self-harm?

 

I’m wanting to move Jimmy towards seeing that his problems are far bigger than the immediate causes of his self-harm, but the solution is far far bigger still.  “Jimmy you really do need to suffer for who you are and what you’ve done, but instead Jesus has suffered in your place. Don’t ever think His sufferings were insufficient.  Don’t belittle His cross. Jesus is saying to you in the midst of your self-harm ‘I paid for that, and I did a much better job!’”

 

Penal substitution really is at the heart of solutions to self-harm!  But getting that deep down in his heart will take time.  You want to get Jimmy to the point where he takes his feelings of shame to Christ’s flesh for atonement and not his own.  You will need to get creative about how Jimmy transfers his sin onto Jesus (perhaps a meditation on Aaron laying hands on the scapegoat?)

 

NB: Danger of techniques.  Tips and tricks to avoid the moment of self-harm abound.  Yet there is a real danger of making these new techniques into the solution for these feelings (rather than Christ).  You might get someone off self-harming and straight into OCD!

 

Suicidal Emergency

 

Five questions to ask:

  • Are you considering taking you own life? (bring it out into the open)
  • Have you ever attempted to commit suicide in the past? (assessing threat)
  • Have you thought about how? (assessing threat)
  • What’s caused this? (moving discussion onto the immediate issue – seeking to deflate it)
  • Will you commit to me not to end your life? (perhaps even get this in writing)

 

NB: Ultimately it’s their decision.

 

If Jimmy mentions any kind of desire to commit suicide, inform the pastor/vicar immediately. If you assess that it’s a serious threat (he’s tried before/he’s thought about how) don’t leave him on his own.  Try to contact pastor/vicar before contacting parents (parental issues may be involved in Jimmy’s reasons).

 

 

Families

 

The word coming to you from your parents always errs towards one or other of these emphases:

either ‘Be happy’ or ‘Be good’.

 

If you’re a ‘be happy’ child you’ll either heed this word and become licentious or you’ll rebel and desperately seek structures.

 

If you’re a ‘be good’ child you’ll either heed this word and become a legalist or you won’t and become a rebel.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Psalm 62:11: The True Parental word is a single word (the LORD is strong and loving - this is the one Word of the Cross).  We struggle to appreciate its singularity, (the LORD says one thing, we hear two) and we distort that which is meant to be a strong love and a loving strength.  Only in the LORD do these two come together – our Father in heaven must parent us!

 

Activities to explore family relations:

  • Family tree – draw one of immediate family. Attach two adjectives to every person
  • Stones – choose different stones to represent different family members. Arrange them. Discuss why.
  • Imaginary walk through the house – what’s everyone doing?
  • What verdict do you hear each person saying to you?
  • What verdict are you seeking from each person?

 

Perhaps Jimmy is a ‘be good’ son attempting to keep the rules in order to seek approval.  This may well be the ‘broken cistern’ which, because of his parents’ (father’s) lack of affection, has run dry. Grieving that loss will be very painful but very necessary. Seeking the Fatherly love of God (and correcting distortions to Jimmy’s perception of it) will be crucial.  Repentance will involve breaking free of all the ‘performance-based’ ways of relating that Jimmy has learnt/sought. Family sessions (with the vicar/pastor as well) would be a very good idea, if the parents would agree to it.

 

 

Assurance

 

Here are some quotes from Luther, Calvin, Spurgeon and Barth:

 

Martin Luther

 

‘A dispute about predestination should be avoided entirely... I forget everything about Christ and God when I come upon these thoughts and actually get to the point to imagining that God is a rogue. We must stay in the word, in which God is revealed to us and salvation is offered, if we believe him. But in thinking about predestination, we forget God. However, in Christ are hid all the treasures (Col. 2:3); outside him all are locked up. Therefore, we should simply refuse to argue about election. Such a disputation is so very displeasing to God that he has instituted Baptism, the spoken Word, and the Lord’s Supper to counteract the temptation to engage in it. In these, let us persist and constantly say, I am baptized, I believe in Jesus. I care nothing about the disputation concerning predestination.’[3]

 

John Calvin

 

Warning against speculation: "For we shall know that the moment we exceed the bounds of the Word, our course is outside the pathway and in darkness, and that there we must repeatedly wander, slip, and stumble.  Let this, therefore, first of all be before our eyes: to seek any other knowledge of predestination than what the Word of God discloses is not less insane than if one should purpose to walk in a pathless waste, or to see in darkness."[4]

 

Faith: “is a firm and sure knowledge, of the divine favor toward us, founded on the truth of a free promise in Christ, and revealed to our minds, and sealed on our hearts, by the Holy Spirit” [5]

 

"Christ, when he illumines us into faith by the power of his Spirit, at the same time so engrafts us into his body that we become partakers of every good."[6]

 

C.H. Spurgeon

“Many persons want to know their election before they look to Christ, but they cannot learn it thus, it is only to be discovered by ‘looking unto Jesus.’ If you desire to ascertain your own election; after the following manner shall you assure your heart before God.  Do you feel yourself to be a lost, guilty sinner? Go straightway to the cross of Christ and tell Jesus so, and tell Him that you have read in the Bible, ‘Him that cometh unto me, I will in no wise cast out.’  Tell Him that He has said, ‘This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners.’  Look to Jesus and believe on Him, and you shall make proof of your election directly, for so surely as thou believest, thou art elect.  If you will give yourself wholly up to Christ and trust Him, then you are one of God’s chosen ones; but if you stop and say, ‘I want to know first whether I am elect’, you ask what you do not know. Go to Jesus, be you never so guilty, just as you are.  Leave all curious inquiry about election alone.  Go straight to Christ and hide in His wounds, and you shall know your election.  The assurance of the Holy Spirit shall be given to you, so that you shall be able to say, ‘I know whom I have believed, and I am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I have committed to Him.’  Christ was at the everlasting council: He can tell you whether you were chosen or not; but you cannot find it out any other way.  Go and put your trust in Him and His answer will be – ‘I have loved thee with an everlasting love, therefore with loving-kindness have I drawn thee.’  There will be no doubt about His having chosen you, when you have chosen Him.”[7]

 

 

Karl Barth

 

“If we would know who God is, and what is the meaning and purpose of His election, and in what respect he is the electing God, then we must look away from all others, and excluding all side-glances or secondary thoughts, we must look only upon and to the name of Jesus Christ, and the existence and history of the people of God enclosed in Him” (Church Dogmatics, II/2, p54).

 

 

“We must not ask concerning any other but Him. In no depth of the Godhead shall we encounter any other but Him… There is no such thing as a decretum absolutum. There is no such thing as a will of God apart from the will of Jesus Christ… Jesus Christ reveals to us our election as an election which is made by Him, by His will which is also the will of God. He tells us that He Himself is the One who elects us… As we believe in Him and hear His Word and hold fast by His decision, we can know with a certainty which nothing can ever shake that we are the elect of God”[8]

 

 

"We might imagine the conversation to which it gives rise and some of the forms which it necessarily takes. The man to whom it is said thinks and says that he is not this new, peaceful, joyful man living in fellowship. He asks leave honestly to admit that he does not know this man, or at least himself as this man.

 

The Word of grace replies: 'All honour to your honesty, but my truth transcends it. Allow yourself, therefore, to be told in all truth and on the most solid grounds what you do not know, namely, that you are this man in spite of what you think.'

 

Man: ' You think that I can and should become this man in the course of time? But I do not have sufficient confidence in myself to believe this. Knowing myself, I shall never become this man.'

 

The Word of grace: 'You do well not to have confidence in yourself. But the point is not that you can and should become this man. What I am telling you is that, as I know you, you already are.'

 

Man: 'I understand that you mean this eschatologically. You are referring to the man I perhaps will be one day in some not very clearly known transfiguration in a distant eternity. If only I had attained to this! And if only I could be certain that even then I should be this new man!'

 

The Word of grace: 'You need to understand both yourself and me better than you do. I am not inviting you to speculate about your being in eternity, but to receive and ponder the news that here and now you begin to be the new man, and are already that which you will be eternally.'

 

Man: 'How can I accept this news? On what guarantee can I make bold to take is seriously?'

 

The Word of grace: 'I, Jesus Christ, am the One who speaks to you. You are what you are in Me, as I will to be in you. Hold fast to Me. I am your guarantee. My boldness is yours. With this boldness dare to be what you are?'

 

Man: 'I certainly hear the message, but...'

 

In this perplexed and startled 'but' we see the attack, and who it is that is attacked."[9]

 

 

Faith is assurance – Heb 11:1ff.  Cf Calvin definition of faith.  Calvin is excellent on this issue of seekng assurance of our election in Christ alone (perhaps not as good at focussing our doctrinal speculation there also!). 

 

I may also use the Spurgeon quote directly on Jimmy.

 

If faith is assured knowledge of things hoped for then Jimmy must seek assurance in the place we seek faith, i.e. in Christ. To truly see Him as the Lamb is to see Him as my Lamb.  Jimmy’s problem is not that he knows Jesus, but is simply not bearing enough authenticating fruit.  His problem is that he does not yet know Jesus as he ought.  Keep preaching the gospel to him!

 

Tell Jimmy and keep telling him: “Do not stop short of anything less than a personal and direct encounter with Christ!”

 

 

Putting it Together

 

1st meeting: Tell him you are pleased he’s wanted to come to you, ask how he feels about opening up.  Assess threat. Don’t promise confidentiality (but discretion). Tell Pastor/Vicar after.

 

In all this, remember: there is no silver bullet. 

 

When we try to solve problems we look for minimization and mastery.[10]  We define the problem as less than the wrath of God against sin and the curse of all creation (minimization).  And we define the solution as lying in quantifiable steps that are in our own power to enact (mastery).  God’s solution involves entering into extremity (a true appreciation for the depths of sin and curse) and brokenness (the solution is not ultimately our repentance – the solution is Christ’s return. We are utterly dependent on Him).

 

Change will occur therefore in the long process of relationships, sharing the word, prayer, fellowship, worship, the Lord’s supper.  Get alongside – go for walks (exercise might ‘blow out some cob-webs’), go to McDonalds (Child Protection issues), get in the Word in creative ways (art, meditations, poetry, music).

 

Give hope (‘I can really see how God can use you in this way.’) Give community! We grasp the love of Jesus ‘together with all the saints’ (Eph 3:18).  Beware being in loco parentis but always challenge Jimmy to love his parents and engage them.  Pray.

 

 

Bibliography

 

Larry Crabb, Understanding People, Zondervan, 1987

 

Larry Crabb, Depression, Metropolitan Tabernacle, 1986

 

Larry Crabb, Inside Out, NavPress, 1988

 

Larry Crabb, Finding God, Alpha, 2000

 

Dan Allender, Bold Love

 

Dan Allender, The Wounded Heart